Weddings & Camp Vibes
I haven't posted for about two weeks, so this is my catch up post. I was in India at my cousin's wedding. I have a lot of ideas for blogs from that time, but mostly instead of thinking about blogs I was just kicking it with family and the boyfriend.
This was an Indian (capital I) wedding took place across 4-5 days with 5-6 events, not to mention the solid 3 weeks of outfit preparation including multiple visits to multiple tailors and a spreadsheet tracking outfits x event x jewelry. It was another level of intensity than what I am used to.
Though in fact, all my favorite weddings have all been multi-day affairs. It takes that long for social lubrication to happen. To unfurl. To have a new conversation with old friends. How open to connection can you be stuffed into a dress for 3.5 hours while talking to someone's second cousin? This is the reason I also dislike (but am very guilty of) "catch up dinners".
I think many weddings (and parties) use alcohol as a way to fast track the social bonding. It fools the mind, but then everyone has a hangover the next day and misses the wedding brunch.
What I want in a wedding (or any occasion really) is Camp. Camp does not actually have to happen in the summer and you do not have to be a child. It doesn't even need to involve smores. Camp is a micro-community which in a period as short as 72 hours or as long as 3 months goes through an entire life cycle of creation, growth, solidification, and dissolution.
On the first day of camp you may only know one or two people. Your senses are heightened, scouting for potential comrades. The ones over there by the picnic table are talking about a band you've maybe heard about once. Could this be the basis for a life long friendship? Or if you are a Returner, then the first day of camp is all about reconnection with your camp friends. Spilling out all the joys and heartbreaks that have occurred since you were last together. Reaffirming that, yes you will be sitting together at lunch.
By the second day of camp you are already feeling good, you have people who wave to you (tentatively) on your way down to the lake. A group of people you were introduced to last night are going on a hike and invite you along. Feeling daring, you agree, even though you can't remember their names.
That night you all sit by the fire and swap stories and make dinner and you laugh harder than you have in a long time.
By day 3 you are true community. You have inside jokes (remember when?!?!), aspirational plans, and genuine memories of connection. You cling to eachother as you say goodbye, promise to write, and you shed a tear as you wave from the bus. There'll never be another summer quite like this one.